WHAT!

Trying to clear a doubt, no matter how trivial, does not make one stupid.

That feeling when it seems like everyone around you gets it and you are the only one who does not! And you are afraid that asking the question which no one else seems to have would just make you look ignorant, or worse, stupid.

No matter how often you have heard the admonition “There are no stupid questions!”, it is tough to put yourself in (what you see as) the spot and actually ask it.

Sounds familiar?

I have talked before about the need to speak up in class, to participate, and to get into conversations, but it is something that does bear repeating, because it seems to be something that we have to re-learn each time we find ourselves in a new situation. There are different ways of clearing a doubt or finding out how to do something. Today, we have information at our fingertips, and all it takes is a few strokes on a keyboard or screen to access wisdom from all over the world.

There are videos that show us “how to” do anything from cleaning a carpet to facing an interview to rustling up a quick snack with the most basic of ingredients. There are maps and navigators that walk us through confusing streets and unreadable signs.

But even with all of this, we find ourselves, quite often, wanting an answer that seems to be more basic than any of these tools can provide.

In such cases, the only thing that can give us an answer is that most unfashionable (but most accessible) of memory banks — the human being.

Here are a couple of stories that may help underscore how important it is for us to get past the hesitation to ask those simple, apparently silly questions where the answers (we think) should be obvious.

Anxiety

(which many of my students have heard before): It is a cold winter morning in 1982, at an American university’s campus. I’m the newest (and to my mind, most nervous) student in a scriptwriting class where each desk is equipped with a shiny electronic typewriter. I have never seen one of these before. The instructor, speaking in rapid sentences, gives us a writing assignment and tells us to begin working at our typewriters. All the young people around turn to their machines and begin clacking away. I stare at the thing, frozen, unable to decode its impassive surface. Finally, I shake myself and tentatively ask the student next to me: How do I turn this thing on? He points to a switch that is staring me in the face but had been invisible to me until then. So I begin my work.

Local knowledge

It is a lovely autumn morning in 2016. I set out to locate a certain building in the fairly organised campus I am currently visiting. Google maps did a good job of telling me how far it was from my current location and how long it would take me to walk there. I walk around the maze of small pathways, following the arrows on the little screen of my phone, over and over, taking much more than those estimated six minutes, but Building X refuses to show itself. Finally, I buckle down and decide to ask someone.

It takes me three attempts before I find a person who is able to point clearly to where I needed to go. Not all the buildings are sequentially numbered, and they run into each other in a way that a visitor unfamiliar with the campus would naturally be confused. Only local knowledge could address that.

Lessons learnt

Here’s the twist in the tale(s): there was a thirty-four-year gap between the first and second experience, but I clearly had not learnt my lesson!

I was so worried about being marked as an outsider — as that person who did not know — that I hesitated to ask a simple question that could have saved me several minutes of searching and some anxiety.

Now, there are several lessons we can learn on our own, quite easily, and it is very important to build the ability to equip ourselves to be efficient, independent learners.

But sometimes, the easiest and least painful way to learn is still the old fashioned way: to find a person and to ask a simple, direct question. Chances are there are many others who feel just as lost as you are, and we need to get over that sense that we are stupid if we do not know what others seem to already know. Not asking will only make it tougher to go on.There is no doubt that we need to familiarise ourselves with the many tools available to give us information and instruction and prepare us for the many aspects of the world.

But it is also important to recognise that those tools all have limitations. They are never complete or detailed enough, and sometimes, you need a real person to help you find the switch to turn it on!

http://m.thehindu.com/features/education/ask-that-question/article9173311.ece

RIGHT OR WRONG...

Introspection helps identify one’s personality and rein in negativity.

Could there be a link between the kind of personalities we embody and the way we react to others and events, or is it all about training and habitual response? More importantly, are ethics and personality connected?

According to a recent study, there are four personality types: optimistic, pessimistic, envious and trusting. The findings of this research published in Science Advancesshowed that the largest group (about a third) was defined as envious. Optimistic and pessimistic personality types scored equal with 20 per cent of the respondents falling into these groups. Last on the list were the trusting group who are classed as natural ‘collaborators’ who didn’t mind if they won or lost.

Mr. Asokan, far from being a wealthy professional, once explained how, while in service, he tagged a certain portion of his earnings. “I fully expect to either lose it to someone who borrowed with no intention of returning the loan or to someone who was an outright fraudster.” His philosophy was that he did this for “the general welfare of mankind.” Sometimes, he told the borrower, “I know your story is false. But it doesn’t matter.”

In pre-partition India, in a small town called Okara about a hundred miles from Lahore, there lived Dr. Uttamchand Ahuja. Popularly known as Lalaji, he ran a clinic for everyone, rich and poor alike. His charges were the same for every patient. “There’s a box at the door. Drop whatever you like into it.” He rode miles on horseback to care for the sick at a time when there were no swift means of personal transport. Quite often, someone would show up at his house and offer bags of wheat or a cow, reminding the doctor how he had taken care of the giver’s family years ago when he was poor. Now that things were better, he had come to pay in kind.

What influences such actions? The inner beings of Asokan and Ahuja rose far above their stations in life and found satisfaction in giving even when they probably could not afford it. They went beyond generosity in their godlike quality described by poets and religious books. The usual instinct to hoard or to hold back was missing in them. Clearly, goodness has little to do with riches or success .

Their opposite is the kind of person who is instinctively and constantly suspicious of others, believing that the worst is guaranteed to happen.

And to add to this conviction, haven’t we all been fooled at least once by the perspiring and agitated person who approaches us because he desperately needs money for a railway ticket home, his pocket having been picked? Sometimes, the same person comes our way a second time!

It is evident that goodness in the world exists alongside its opposite. What is the source of anger, envy and insecurity in us? What turns a person into a suicide bomber or someone who enjoys the pain of helpless animals or children? Some criminals, even when they are caught, exhibit no remorse. Instead, they explain why they did what they did and try to justify it. They steal happiness from others and are a complete opposite of the two people described in this article.

There is a case for believing that it is envy and pessimism (uncontrollable fear of starvation and loss) that set in motion man’s early attacks on adjacent villages and settlements to grab what was rightfully another’s. Waging war on a neighbour slowly legitimised organised violence and stealth operations. At a time when it has become possible to destroy people or a city from a safe distance, it is vital that we look into ourselves and understand our personalities for stability, patience and identify what disturbs us and leads us to disturb others.

It seems we have studied the whole world but neglected studying ourselves. In the race for success, amidst the din of devices which will not let us rest even while we sleep, we must look inward for solutions to survive. There is no easy blue-print for achieving peace of mind but it would be useful to understand that both deva and demon lie within us and their energies have to be understood; the one reined in, the other developed.

All around us are trickery and malice, but also, equally, helplessness and true need. How do we distinguish between the two and respond ?